My Tetris Brain
A phenomena, a curse, and a playlist.
You know what I’m talking about, even if you don’t know the term. First, you play Tetris, or chess, or anything that really holds your attention and takes some mental effort. Eventually you stop playing, but your brain doesn’t. Eyes closed, head on the pillow, you realize you didn’t need the computer/board/console/paper at all. The activity continues behind your eyelids. An endless show for an audience of y o u.
Eventually, mercifully, you fall asleep. In your dream, you find colorful blocks falling from the sky, needing to be rearranged. A larger narrative is likely involved, with perhaps a side-plot where you have to find a bathroom with walls and a door that closes (notoriously rare in dreamland).
The game continues when you wake up, your thoughts loop-de-looping the same worn track. If you play again — which obviously you will, you’re in your Tetris era — you give the mouse (your brain) a cookie (repetitive fodder). Now you’ll see it when you’re sleeping, when you’re awake, when you’ve been bad or good. So be good, for goodness’ sake.
This phenomena is called the Tetris Effect.
I experienced this with Tetris itself as a kid. I could stop playing, but I couldn’t stop thinking about playing. It happened when I played snake on my mom’s phone and when I did jigsaw puzzles. After I learned the rules of chess for the first time, I couldn’t sleep. My mind was full of horses moving in L shapes, bishops in diagonals, pawns getting promoted, queens zipping across the board, and kings hiding like cowards.
I can’t blame the Tetris Effect for everything. As an experienced ruminator, I’m apt to get stuck on a channel. Well, not quite, because channels have blessed variety. More often, I get stuck on one song, one sentence, one experience, like my brain has “mentionitis,” a term I thought my family invented until a quick DuckDuckGo search1 proved otherwise. Mentionitis means exactly what it sounds like: a contagious condition where you can’t stop mentioning something or someone.
Rumination is easily triggered by emotional intensity. If my amygdala gets involved, voila: worry, rehash, rinse, repeat. Overstimulation also plays a role. I’ve had jobs where I’ve had to be alert and productive until two a.m., at which point I’d hopefully send out an error-free script to 300 people. When I’d get into bed, I’d close my eyes and see the screen I’d just closed, with the script open, the little cursor blinking. I’d command F search for typos I’d already found, considered adjusting action lines I’d already sent. I had been focusing so hard on staying awake and performing my job, and my brain, following instructions, was still awake and performing my job. Tetris brains don’t just clock out. I used to write a lot at night. I sleep much better now.
Clearly my brain loves repetition. In fact, it has played the same five songs on a loop for years. You have a soundtrack, too, don’t you? I’m talking about the songs that are always stuck in your head, always on the tip of your tongue, regardless of what you listened to that day.
I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Oh, fine, I’ll tell you mine anyway, in good faith. Before you judge, let me remind you that I didn’t choose these songs. They chose me. And they could be worse! They all have some pep to them yet cross a few musical eras and genres. Variety - a whole dang channel if you will.
“All Star” by Smash Mouth - I first heard this song, I assume, when I saw Shrek in the theaters in 2001. It hit its heyday for me around 2008-2013, when it bopped around in my head most hours of most days. A timeless anthem, it persists.
“My Favorite Things” by Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music - My subconscious watches out for me, pushing a positivity agenda.
“La Marseillaise” - I had to memorize the French national anthem in my junior high French class, and boy did it stick. Bloody flags are raised, throats are slit, glory days arrive, and they march until enemy blood soaks the fields. It’s full of pathos and drama, yet the tune is joyous, fun, and catchy.
“Blue Danube Waltz” by Johann Strauss II - Not sure how this one weaseled its way onto the playlist. I think it has to do with ballet classes in my teens, because I can’t sing it without wanting to do a few grand jetés.
“Hey Girl” by Zooey Deschanel - The theme song from New Girl has held a special place in my head since 2011. “Who’s that girl? It’s Jess!” is the iconic line, although the whole theme song SLAPS. Turns out there are a bunch of other verses that were not played during the opening credits; those aren’t on my soundtrack. I am currently rewatching the show, which has renewed the song’s Tetris Brain platinum record status.
These are not songs I recommend or want played at my funeral. I don’t listen to them by choice. They’re just there. They’re just mine.
What’s playing on a loop in your repetitive lil noggin?
An enneagram six’s preferred search engine.
Relatable as always. I bet most people have their own Tetris Brain Playlist, if they give it some thought.
Great piece! The chess pieces, what a creative description! Love it!!!